the mirror of a vagabond

I stand silently gazing into the mirror.
It has been a while since I have really looked at myself.
My legs begin to tremble,
I step closer.
My eyes swell with hope, and with fear.
With the hope, I stare deeper.

The black night of my pupils reveals something more, something deeper
My heart feels heavy
I long for more
My soul drinks of human connection and eats of reciprocated love
And yet it is still clawing for more

The world gives me a new taste of the air I need
Around me the earth breathes with life
At first I am forced to breath with it, and slowly I learn its patterns

My soul swells but the breath doesn’t sustain
I lift my head towards the heavens in trust and surrender
Air comes rushing in
This air fills not only my lungs, but every corner of my soul
It is the sunshine that lights the garden in order for the colors to bloom
The true fountain of youth is found

I find my feet planted in front of the mirror once again
My eyes look different now
I blink and refocus
My eyes are wider and the fog that once clouded them is gone

I stare deeper once again

My gaze peels the layers of skin back and it falls away like that of a serpent
I am left with flesh exposed
It slithers against the earth with greater sensitivity and understanding

My colors shine brighter
A more whole human stands in front of me
My heart is still heavy, but now with love
My brain surges with new knowledge
My tongue speaks new words
I see myself, the world, the people, the places
But this time I feel them with joy, see them with wonder,

With confidence I step closer.


[by: martha obermiller]